Sometimes its very hard to get fashion news but not with me.
Okay, it’s the end of London Fashion Week; how else will I remain funny and fabulous without a couple of grams of Colombia’s finest in my Harrods leather bag?
It won’t be anything to do with the show.
I mean, considering my lack of financial backing- I just have not to stare but hear- as this is necessary for a comic journalist to pick new gossip.
Ehh, this gossip keeps oozing in my ears “she’s all dark, tits and hair extension and she just isn’t fashion.
Oh, fuck! And then this Hip-Hop Diva seated next to me, starts to cough her self awake.
Her cough sounds like some breaking clay plates; you can hear lumps and lungs cuddling together in her big boobed chest. Her chair shaking and forcing mine to shake- finally she releases a final loud cough as she seats straight and staring at my camera like it was a dick. She coughs again and asks me. “You got a ciggie?”
Jesus, she rubs her pierced nose as she surveys the hall and whispers with a husky voice to me.
“it will be the biggest bash, hosted by the biggest company, and they will hurl cash and caviar and champagne and everyone will go crazy!”
Meanwhile in Naomi Campbell’s dressing room, you could hear, a gayish voice saying, “Grumpy queens are difficult enough as it is, but grumpy queens without their hair gel are a nightmare.
Will Naomi Campbell Swim in river Thames for Charity?
To be Continued Very Soon!!